An Open Letter to My Favorite Store

I must discuss a very personal topic this evening; bathroom spray, or "home fragrance," according to the good people at Glade. More specifically, I must address my lack of comprehension as to why they make one called Apple Cinnamon. I know they say it can be used for every room in the house, and in the kitchen, for instance, this smell would make sense. But let's be honest; unless you're 16, and attempting to hide the smell of smoke from your parents, does anyone really use this stuff anywhere but the bathroom? And so, following that thought, I pen the following letter: Dear Store That Shall Remain Nameless, but rhymes with "Marget," Why on earth do you want your bathrooms to smell like Apple Cinnamon? Clean Linen, I get. Powder Fresh, sure. Even Suddenly Spring, whatever that means, sort of makes sense. But I simply fail to understand the point of Apple Cinnamon; do you want people to walk into your bathroom and go, "Mmmm! Who's making pie?!" And...not to be indelicate, but heaven forbid that the Apple Cinnamon spray fails to do its job. Then some poor unsuspecting soul (like me, for example) is left with a bathroom that smells partly like Apple Cinnamon, and partly like...well, what you were trying to cover up in the first place. And that's just not good news for anybody. (Well, mainly me. Because...ew.) Sincerely, Metalia