Monday, January 1, 2007

Tales From The Car

On Sunday afternoon, J and I were in the car, having just dropped our son off at my lovely and generous parents, who were babysitting him so we could attend a New Year's party at our friends. (These friends have requested that I refer to them at T-Bone and C-Money here.) Anyway, as we flipped through the many fun new satellite stations in the scarily large new car, we happened upon Eddie Murphy's ill-advised foray into the music world, "Party All The Time.” (In fairness, it was the 80's station, but really, there's just no excuse for this song being played. Ever.) The song is so horrendous, it defies all explanation. I sincerely believe that if you heard this song and Don Johnson’s “Heartbeat” back-to-back, the universe would implode as a direct result of the songs’ collective suckiness. (And yes, you read that right; Don Johnson did have a mercifully brief music career in the 80’s.) But I digress. We were stuck in traffic, and bored, so we decided to actually listen to the lyrics (big mistake):
My girl wants to party all the time Party all the time Party all the time My girl wants party all the time Party all the time.
J: I don’t get his point…is he upset, or is he bragging? Me: That’s a good question. And I don’t know the answer…it could really go both ways, it seems. J: Exactly; like, he could be saying “My girl wants to party all the time, and it sucks, because I personally do NOT want to party. All the time, I mean.” M: OR…he could be saying “Suck it, losers, my girl wants to party all the time…isn’t she awesome? I’ll bet your girls do not want to party even half as much of the time as my girl does.”
J: Yes! Wait--the chorus is over. Let’s see where he goes with this.
She parties all the time – party all the time She likes to party all the time – party all the time Party all the time – she likes to party all the time Party all the time
M: That certainly cleared things up.
Girl I’ve seen you in clubs just hanging out and dancing. You give your number to every man you see. You never come home at night because you’re out romancing. I wish you bring some of your love home to me.
J: Well that just makes no sense; if he’s seeing her out in the clubs just hanging out dancing, how the hell would he know if she’s coming home at night to bring some of her love home to him?
M: Good point. But at least now we have an answer. He is, in fact, upset about the partying.
But my girl wants to party all the time My girl wants to party all the time Party Party Party she likes to party all the time She likes to party all the time…
M: This is not insightful at all, but I don’t care. It must be said: The word “party” is funny when you keep hearing it over and over again. Good lord, I think this song is actively making me dumber.
J: What do you think her partying consists of? Is it the dancing? The “romancing”? Or is she finding actual parties to attend around the clock?
M: See, this is why I married you; you ask the tough questions.

17 comments:

Libragirl said...

Just so you know, this song/video was banned from MTV. They did a show a few years ago, with John Stewart, Dennis Leary, Jeanine Garafalo and someone else and they played 50 videos for the last time ever. This was one.

Martha said...

The song is terrible. However, I suspect if I was some kind of movie star or tv celebrity or whatever, I'd probably quite like to record a song myself, and it would be equally terrible.

The car! I love it. I haven't seen one of them in New Zealand. We've got a little Saab, and I think your one would probably eat ours.

stefanie said...

You know, I remember that song (from when I was too young to realize just how awful it was... I was probably in those preteen years of horrid bad taste when it was released), but I never stopped to consider the lyrics before.

And you and J seem wonderfully suited to each other. I very much hope to one day find a man who will humor all my ridiculous analysis as well.

Darren McLikeshimself said...

The problem that I've always had with this song (aside from Eddie Murphy, of course) is that the words "parties" and "potties" sound a LOT alike when they're being sung quickly.

DEA said...

Did any of you ever stop to consider that Eddie Murphy may have produced that song as a parody of the state of pop music at the time? Hmmmmm? I mean, viewed that way - it's actually a brilliant commentary on 80s culture as a whole. Right? That "girl" who enjoys copious amounts of "partying?" It could be 80's foreign policy icon (the late) Jeane Kirkpatrick and the partying represents her ardent anticommunist views. I mean she talked about her views 'all the time.' What Eddie's done here is quite genius. The "girl" can be Madonna, Geraldine Ferarro, Margaret "Maggie" Thatcher, Molly Ringwald...you name it (anyone can relate - just think of your favorite female 80's icon). And all in the guise of a witty sendup of 80s pop music. How very prescient of him. Bravo Mr. Murphy. Bravo.
~D
PS - Metalia, now you know why I never have time to stop by for coffee in the morning!

Christine said...

The song is truly awful. But I think in answer to J's question that she's a cokehead. She parties all the time in the fashion of Miss America.

It was afterall the 80s.

nabbalicious said...

I think even further adding to the confusion is that it's a jaunty, upbeat (and yes, sucky) little number. If your girl were partying all the time and you weren't happy about it, shouldn't it be a ballad to convey your true feelings? I'm picturing a power ballad and in the video, fireworks explode at the start of the last chorus to show just how mad he really is.

The Other Girl said...

I feel the same way about "Born in the USA." You know,

Born in the USA
Born in the USA
Born in the USA
I was
Born in the USA


And it seems as if I've said this recently, but, oh, right, Bruce Springsteen, like you were in 'Nam. (Soon, someone will inform me that, in fact, both Bruce Springsteen and Billy Joel did fight in Vietnam and that, as a result, Billy Joel has several prosthetic limbs, which is why he has so much difficulty driving. And then I will feel bad.)

Anyone want to go see Dreamgirls? No? Okay!

nonprofit slave said...

The problem with this entire analysis is why you actually stopped on a station with a song by Eddie Murphy. Did you actually expect it to be good and/or insightful? You've got to raise your musical standards and listen to better stations.

-R- said...

I am slightly embarrassed to admit that H and I rocked out in the car to "YMCA" yesterday. Rocked out as in we had a choreographed dance and everything. My excuse is that is was a long, long car ride. I am impressed by your thoughtful analysis of the song in question. =)

Jon said...

I think the real tragedy is that this song was the last funny thing Eddie Murphy ever did.

And now the song is stuck in my head, so, two tragedies I guess.

Miss Peach said...

Wow. I had completely forgotten about this song. Now it will be in my head for days. Mark my words! Too funny.

metalia said...

Libragirl -- That is too funny; this is most definitely a song that should be banned.

Martha -- I don't know where celebrities get the idea that since they're (relatively) good at acting, they should try their hand at singing. (Or vice versa.) Also, we actually had the li'l Saab before as well, and just upgraded to this monstrosity... it's surprisingly not so bad to drive!

Stefanie -- Ditto; I knew the song cold, but this was the first time I actually really listened to the lyrics. As you can see, it's not a good idea. J is awesome for many reasons, not the least of which is his willingness to go along with my weird analyses of random crap. I hope you find someone like that, too!!

Darren -- Hahahaha! This just ratchets up the inanity of the song to a whole new level; bravo.

DEA -- Come meet me and your other former coworker for coffee one morning, and we can discuss this in greater detail.

Christine -- Good call; "party" could definitely be a euphemism for "massive coke snorting."

Nabbalicious -- Wow, that is an awesome point. I'm seeing Bryan Adams (or possibly Sting?) doing some weird background vocals, and many candles flickering on a piano. Oh, and scarves. Lots and lots of scarves.

The Other Girl -- I love that you're consistent with your critique of Billy Joel and Springsteen. It's so true :) How awesome would it be if they actually WERE in Vietnam, and in the same unit, no less? Now *there* is a musical biopic I'd actually enjoy.

Nonprofit slave -- I know, but it hooked me in! (Much like a party would, to Eddie Murphy's girl...)

R -- Thank you! And I need more
information about this car dance. Were there hand motions in unison? Did you employ use of your feet? I must know.

Jon -- Ha! Too true; and I apologize for any role I played in getting the song stuck in your head.

Miss Peach -- Yeah, it's one of those songs you can literally go years without hearing, and then once you do hear it, it's not going anywhere. I'm sorry to you, as well! :)

Jasclo said...

So funny! We rip on this song as work all the time!

guinness girl said...

I think you guys might be the cutest couple I've ever heard of for having that conversation. Freakin' adorable.

rhea_sun said...

Now this is stuck in my head. I'll have to start humming jingle bell rock in order to remove it, and then where will that leave me!

Miss Peach said...

Follow up comment. I saw Dreamgirls the other night (eh, pretty good given I'm not a fan of musicals) and every time Eddie was onscreen, all I could think was "dude, I can't take you seriously after Party All the Time". Poor Eddie.