This past weekend was my little brother’s engagement party. I say “little” in the figurative sense, seeing as he is well above six feet tall. Perhaps “younger” would be the better adjective here. Anyway, I had fallen in love with this dress a while back...
...but after consulting with the family prior to the event, learned the Fanciness Level of said party, while Elevated, was not at the Tasteful Beading Level necessitating the purchase of this dress. BOO. Anyway, I pulled it together in time, and remembered this dress, which I’d purchased in the summer, but never worn.
Now, the thing about this dress is that it is basically the embodiment of all that is Mad Men, without all the adultery and mental illness. Consequently, I felt that I wanted—nay, NEEDED to find some red lipstick to go along with the chic little dress. Now, I haven’t worn lipstick in about a decade, and red lipstick in particular inevitably makes me look like a vampire whore, so this was a pretty steep order. Fortunately, one of the lovely Sephora helpers took me under his sparkly gay wing, and set me right. We tested a number of shades, and at last we found my color. He pronounced my lips to be divine, and swore up and down that I wouldn’t regret the purchase. And you know what? I don’t!
Yes, it's a bit dramatic, and I’m not saying this lipstick will be an everyday thing, but it’s always nice to mix up my look a little, and somehow NOT look like a vampire whore for once. (Or so I’d like to believe.) All in all, the dress and the makeup (and my cougar shoes! Can’t forget those!) seemed to work. Hooray!
If only I’d made a resolution to try something new, I could cross this off the list. SON OF A BITCH.
Oh, and the shade, by the way, is Nars Shanghai Express (a “semi matte warm brick red”). Though…I keep calling it “Shanghai Surprise”, which sounds like either a Chinese restaurant item, a sex act, or a Jackie Chan movie. Or, you know, a Jackie Chan-themed adult movie taking place in a Chinese restaurant. ANNNND, there’s the wine talking.
(Now that I’ve sufficiently frightened you, such that you will never take my beauty advice ever again, won’t you please go check out my latest BeautyHacks post on makeup brushes?)
Speaking of things I’ve been drinking lately, I recently tried Starbucks’ new London Fog Tea Latte. Now, I’m a big fan of their Vanilla Chai Tea Latte, and pretty much all of the drinks they make. (And I do mean that; I have a Starbucks in the lobby of my building, so I’ve basically tried everything. ENTRAPMENT!) This drink...just wow. Picture the foulest perfume you’ve ever smelled. Now add the smell of milk juuuuust on the cusp of turning. Toss in a touch of Earl Grey, and you have…The London Fog Latte! AVOID AT ALL COSTS, PEOPLE.
Also, I’m probably the last person to discover last.fm, but HOLY AWESOME. The only downside is that occasionally (like today) it will randomly play a song by Live. Specifically, A song by Live called “The Dolphin’s Cry,” which contains the worst lyrics ever put to paper by the hand of man. Lyrics like "swoon of peace,” “rose garden of trust” and “life is like a shooting star/it don’t matter who you are.” I just kept LISTENING to it, because it was just that bad. And then? I downloaded it so I could LISTEN TO IT SOME MORE. I’m pretty sure that’s a sign of some sort of sickness, no?
Oh, and because yesterday was evidently Delurking Day (and I am fashionably late!), won’t you please...do so?
If you need more specific direction, please feel free to share with me:
1) The worst song currently stuck in YOUR head.
2) Whether or not you also think Sir Topham Hatt is a massive tool. (The highest praise he can come up with for the trains is “very useful?” Really? REALLY?)
3) When you are throwing a party fancy enough for me to justify the purchase of Tastefully Beaded Dress, and also whether or not I can attend this party.
4) Any makeup/product related question you’d like me to address in the future on BeautyHacks. Just nothing about liquid eyeliner. I think we all know how that worked out for me.
5) Or, you know, just say hi.
_300.jpg)
94 comments:
I actually have a little soft place in my heart for Sir Topham Hat. My much-younger brothers LOVED all things Thomas.
Off to check out last.fm.
I actually NEED to throw a dinner party. I have these fantastic Kate Spade place card holders, and I just usually don't put out place cards when Bill and I eat takeout.
You wear that dress, and I'll find something equally fantastic to wear.
Delurking. And saying hi.
You look great in that dress! I think you need to wear the beaded dress for... Valentine's Day? Yes, you should wear it for Valentine's Day.
One of the coolest makeup brush tips I received was to go to a craft store and pick up brushes there. That's where I got my lip brush and my eyeliner brush (I lost my bent Bobbi Brown one... grr...) and they're way cheap for a higher quality brush.
As far as beauty fixes that I need to have addressed, I'm plagued by dark undereye circles and properly applying eye make up. Proper eye make up tutorials would be WONDERFUL.
Um "hi!". Waving from you down here in NC. I guess if We were in some sort of Brady Bunch squares thing I would be down here in Mike Brady waving at you up in Greg Brady.
I currently have Barracuda stuck in my head. Love the song but my co-worker has been playing the crap out of it on Guitar Hero.
Check out Pandora too!
I am pretty much just delurking. But I want to say you have some beautiful babies! I also enjoy your "Ask a Jew" posts. You have answered many questions I have and even some that I had never thought of asking. And....thanks for the beauty product tips!
Fran
A question for you on the crucial topic of shimmer sticks: Do you use Nars Multiples or similar products, and if so, have you found a way to use them so they're not quite so slick? I used to swear by Malibu but in my late twenties I'm finding it difficult to pull off that dewy (read: shiny) look, and now I'm struggling to perfect the application of Copacabana. Thanks!
There isn't a Sephora near here, so I'd like to have a choosing red lipstick for my complexion tutorial on beautyhacks. :)
delurking to ask how the hell you get your bangs to look that cute...i just got bang a couple days ago and im still getting use to styling them/ my hair
Hi! I too have the same problem with red lipstick. Last time I tried, my father told me to take it off, lest I look like a whore in front of people he knew. I'm totally going to Sephora now to find a non-scary shade.
Oh, and you should totally throw your own fancy event just so you can get that dress.
Hi, I'm delurking and the worst song currently stuck in my head is the theme to the Chipmunks. UGH.
I guess I really should delurk, since I've actually read through all of your archives in the last couple of months. All of those nursing sessions (with my now-8-week-old) really lend themselves to quick snippets of reading, and I've been loving your blog. Don't even remember whose link I finally followed to your page, although I've seen your name for a long time now (I've been reading Not That You Asked for a couple of years). Anywho. In spite of what you might think, a Mormon girl in Utah and a Jewish girl in New York can have a whole lot in common! :) It's been fun "getting to know you" here.
I've had Kickstart My Heart by Motley Crue stuck in my head for days, which is great for working out or driving, but not so much when you're trying to go to sleep.
I will TOTALLY throw a party so you can buy that dress. Except I want it too.
Shoot.
Not so lurking lurker here.:) Love the red lipstick!
Hi!
I've been reading your blog for quite some time now, and this is the first time I've left a comment.
The worst song to ever get stuck in my head is "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head." It was there for most of Junior High.
Hiya! :-)
Delurking. Unfortunately, I still have "Chains" by Tina Arena stuck in my head, thanks to a drunken festive Singstar session some TWO WEEKS ago. What's worse is that I secretly think it is actually quite good.
Not really delurking but I still feel like a lurker since I so seldomly comment. I prefer the anonymity of lurking.
I have Everyone Was Kung Fu Fighting stuck in my head. I think it might be due to Jackie Chan adult film portion.
I need a beauty fix for the brown spots on my cheeks. How do I hide them since I can't seem to get rid of them. I got them about 3 months into my pregnancy and they won't go away. I really want them to go away. I don't like to wear too much make up so there in lies the problem. Powder just won't cut it anymore.
Wow, this was the longest comment ever.
Unfortunately, I am not throwing a party where that dress would be appropriate, however, that dress makes me want to throw a party.
Hi, I lurk! It's too early for me to remember what your questions were since I clicked into the comment box. But...I love the dress and think pearls would go very nicely and 50s-y. I would love to go somewhere with you that requires the wearing of lovely beaded dresses, but most places go these days only require jeans, crocs and a diaper bag.
Love the bangs & the red lipstick. I'm light brown/red hair, fair skinned & freckled, so I just can't pull off the red lipsticks....
Lady Gaga, "Just Dance." I'm a little ashamed to admit that.
Hi!
de-lurking to say Sir Topham Hat is an ass.
Last night my husband showed me a clip from the news about about a crazy cat lady from his hometown - 50+ cats. For some reason this resulted in the theme song from Heathcliff implanting itself in my brain. Thanks for reminding me.
I can't get Beyonce's Single Ladies out of my head, which isn't awful, but certainly not appropriate to be caught singing in the office.
As for Sir Topham Hatt, I liked him until we went to Day Out With Thomas, where they have an enormous, puffy live action Sir Topham Hatt that scared the bajeebus out of my kid.
p.s. You need that first dress. It. Is. Stunning!
of all the annoying songs i currently have in my head, i think it's a tossup between "backpack, backpack" and "what's gonna work? teamwork! what's gonna work? teamwork"
hmm....what shows do you think im watching at night?
After the Christmas break (I had 2 weeks off) I could NOT get the song "Back to Life, Back to Reality" out of my head.
For three days.
It was torture. :)
"Heathcliff, Heathcliff, no one should/Terrorize the neighborhood..." Oh, crap. NOT COOL, BDS. NOT COOL.
I've had "I am the Warrior" by Pat Benatar stuck in my head for DAYS. Also, and only slightly more shameful, is that I keep thinking how perfectly it would fit into the next Twilight movie...Listen to the lyrics, they fit!(hangs head)
I currently have the "$5 Footlooooooong" Subway song stuck in my head. You're welcome.
Sir Topham Hat is definitely not my favorite although I do get a chuckle when my nephew tells me I'm useful.
I am de-lurking! I love your blog- you always make me laugh. I can relate to everything since a) I am a new yorker b) I too went to Yeshiva c) I have a starbucks at work as well and try it all
Why dont you stop by my blog and day hello!!!
-Maya
You look awesome! The red lipstick looks fantastic!
Can you get that fancy beaded dress for the wedding you have in June? Otherwise, I will throw a fancy party in your honor when you're here in June. Then you can wear it to meet me.
(Keep in mind, said fancy party will probably be at a dive bar. Because that's as fancy as I get!)
You got me, I am a total lurker! Hi! I honestly have to be careful when I am reading your blog at work as I tend to guffaw unattractively.
Also, you should check out Pandora (similar to last.fm, good stuff)
And wow I really wish that "Here I am, rock you like a hurricane" song would get out of my head :)
Hi! I think I found your blog from Rhi in Pink just last week. So funny!
I didn't have any songs stuck in my head. But after reading the comments I'm sure several of the lovely songs mentioned will find their way in! Great.
Hello from the upper midwest. I haven't attended any parties formal enough in years for that gorgeous dress so you need to find a place to wear it and I'll enjoy it vicariously through your blog! :)
lastfm...sigh...LOVE it. come and find me...alimartell, i think...:)
love love love the dress/shoes/red lipstick. jealous that you can pull off such a look. i myself cannot.
also? currently stuck in my head? Crying and Amazing by Aerosmith. i don't even like aerosmith...but husband purchased guitar hero aerosmith and well, those songs? STUCK. damn you, alicia silverstone.
The song stuck in my head right now is "Poker Face," by Lady Gaga. It's not horrible, but it's certainly not fantastic either.
Is it bad that I have no idea who Sir Topham Hatt is?
You look ridiculously hot at the party. Love every little thing about the outfit and makeup! (Those shoes ... those shoes make my pregnant feet cry in envy.)
Crazy song stuck in my head: "Strawberry Wine" by Deanna Carter.
Beauty question: Such a basic one, too, but I've never really been able to perfect applying eyeshadow. Not just a smoky eye rundown, but how do you apply it on the average day to make it look fantastic (dark shade on the outside and top of the lid? I JUST DON'T KNOW). Good thing I'm having a son. My daughter wouldn't stand a chance.
It's been many years since I've seen Thomas, so I can't remember my stance on Sir Topham Hat. However, I do like to say his name. Really rolls off the tongue, you know? So a few times a week, my husband is addressed as Sir Topham Hat.
...Maybe I shouldn't have admitted that in public. Oh, well. Hi!!
I think every woman should have a perfect red lipstick just in cases.
It looks great on you!
Delurking with a massive comment...
Love that dress... I hope you can find some place to wear it. My friends and I once had a "fancy game night" party where we wore fancy attire, drank a lot, and played board games. It was a lot of fun.
I actually had a beauty question pop into my head this morning... are both an allover primer and an eyemakeup primer necessary? And if you had to choose just one to apply for times/money sake, which would you choose?
I tried the Starbucks Vanilla Roobios latte yesterday and it was vile. I also love their chai, but Starbucks just doesn't know how to make tea. First of all, it's not loose tea if it's in a bag, even if the bag is ginormous, and second, different types of tea need to be brewed at different temperatures for different amounts of time, so just shoving a tea bag in hot water isn't gonna cut it. Blech.
And the song currently stuck in my head is "Baby It's Cold Outside," b/c it is really effing cold outside.
De-lurking to say hello.
And to Mandee: thank you so very much. Now I have the $5 footloooooong Subway song stuck in my head too. :-)
I will admit that Dolphin's Cry has wretched lyrics, but I think the song with the WORST lyrics (and the worst delivery) is Damien Rice's "Eskimo Friend". It's just...there are no words to describe the hideousness that is Eskimo Friend. And it's a shame because I generally like Damien Rice. The lyrics can be found here: http://lyricwiki.org/Damien_Rice:Eskimo
You look very nice in the red lipstick. (You're right, the name does conjure up naughty images of Jackie Chan...)
Delurking in Atlanta.
"Come to Jamaica and feeeel alright"
I think Sir Topham hat is a condescending British Empirialist, stuck on Sodor.
The next party I'm throwing is a 4 year old boy's birthday party. Theme: Star Wars. You can wear beads if you want!
where did you find the brown dress? its lurvly!
1. My son was recently in a musical that included the theme song from Footloose. Which is now the children's fave song. And is permanently stuck in my head. My mom bought them the movie soundtrack CD for Christmas. They want to play it every time we are in the car. She is forever cursed.
2. I have to agree about Sir Topham Hatt. My younger son was obsessed with Thomas for about 3 years. My son wanted very much at that time to be "Really Useful". Which is something that 3 year olds seldom are.
3. We are not much for fancy parties around here. And yet, I collect cute fancy dresses, most of which are never worn, because we never go anywhere fancy. Maybe I need to start throwing fancy dress parties, just so I have an occasion to wear my fancy dresses. When I do, I'll be sure to send you an invite.
4. I'm not one for makeup. I work in a manufacturing plant (in the offices, but still), I wear jeans to work most days, it seems silly to get made up. Plus, I'm just not much of a girl. I really need to start on square one on the whole makeup and hair thing.
5. Hi!
Well, now I have the Dolphin's Cry stuck in my head...
Discuss eyeshadow... using multiple colors, smoky eyes, etc...
I'll delurk, but I've got no questions or brilliant thoughts, so..um....Hi!
I have a party you can wear the Tastefully Beaded Dress to -- it's called MY WEDDING. AHAHAHAHAHA! Except wait, then you'll look hotter than me, and you're not allowed to look hotter than the bride -- isn't that in the rules?
(Where is it from? I NEED IT. Maybe it could even be my wedding dress!)
best. shoes. ever.
Delurking to say hi! I don't have an event for you to wear that dress, sadly. If I should come up with one, I shall notify you promptly. Be ready!
Just delurking to say hi. I love the Ask a Jew posts...could I request one on bar/bat mitzvahs? I went to a few in Jr. High but never really understood it.
When that Live song came out, i remember discussing the stupid lyrics with a friend, a Live fan, who loved that dumb-ass song. And then Live came out with another song where he talks about God and his kid and some other bullshit about BELIEVING and i swore never to listen to them again. Don't preach to me in pop music, k thx.
I currently have the theme song to "Heathcliff" stuck in my head, thankyouverymuch!
Hi!
The worst thing I get in my head is the ABCs sung like they do in Super WHY! Like I don't KNOW my ABCs.
I specifically steered my 3 year old away from trains BECAUSE of Sir Topham Hatt.
I forget the rest of your suggestions. I blame the baby.
Delurking to say hi and to tell you that I think you're hilarious. I recently discovered your blog and I'm really enjoying your posts!
I once spent hours and hours of my life searching for the perfect red lipstick. I was missing a Sephora helper (I keep thinking a Sephora Elf) (Which would be AWESOME.) and thus failed.
You look smashing.
Also: hello!
I have yet to discover a red lipstick that works for me. According to my stylist, dying my hair brown would fix that dilemma. I remain undecided.
Also: Hi! I adore you! You already knew that! Woot!
No joke, "Baby Baluga" by Rafi. And no, I don't have kids/spend my days with them. I'm just that special.
Hi! Would love if you could address dark under eye circles.
Love that beaded dress!
De-lurking a day late. Hello!
I would like to know if you have always considered yourself this generation's Weird Al Yankovic.
"Dum, dum dum dum de dum...It's move to the music time. On Noggin..." Followed by some Laurie Berkner nonsense. Kill me now.
Question for BeautyHacks: Where/how do you store your makeup, brushes, etc. My makeup drawer and bag are disorganized, full of eyeliner crumbs and stray brush hairs, and I fear that if I buy nicer supplies (especially brushes) they'll just get gross if I put them in there. (Guess I could just clean up my act, but maybe you have tips for keeping my act clean once I get it there?)
I love your blog, I am a regular reader, but always a lurker.
"You're the best around, nothing's ever gonna keep you down, you're the best around..."
Not really a bad song that's in my head, more of an amazing song, either way, thought I'd share...
I was going to say, "yesterday was delurking day?!?" but then I noticed you posted this yesterday. I miss everything by miles. This is why there is no point to my purchasing my own Tastefully Beaded Dress.
You're not the last person to discover last.fm because I just heard about it from you and am now listening to Wrapped Around Your Finger by The Police, in honor of your love for Sting. Oh crap, now it's playing Don't You Forget About Me by Simple Minds. Not similar! Not similar! I better log off before they get to Frankie Goes to Hollywood.
That new Taylor Swift song about Romeo and Juliet. I hate it. I love it. I hate it. Especially the line about her being "the scarlet letter"--apparently some lyric-writer did not fully understand that book because hello, is she calling herself an adulterer/martyr? I don't think so. But I love it and can't stop listening to it.
Hi! I think I commented... once? So I think I still count as a lurker?
1) I just got Michael Jackson's "The Way You Make Me Feel" stuck in my head, which, shamefully, I don't think is a bad song.
2) I had to Google Sir Topham Hatt. I've never watched any of those Thomas videos or TV show or whatever- I don't have kids, and whenever I babysat, I happen to have just missed them! Weird, as it is quite popular.
3) It IS a beautiful dress. I agree with a fellow delurker who suggested Valentine's Day.
4) I'd like you to try out tinted moisturizers. I think I like mine, but the paler I get, the oranger it makes me look. And considering it's January in New York, I'm not getting un-pale any time soon.
5) Hi! I didn't know it was a delurk day.
Hi Matalia!
I've been reading for a long long time...think I found your blog through Whoorl and then saw we had the same MacBook and I was hooked, your my BFF...kidding, I'm totally not a stalker...no really I'm not! Although I just might join Whoorl on her stalking of Robert Pattinson but you know, whatever.
Anyway HI!!!!!!
The song that continues to haunt me is Miley Cyrus "See you again". When it comes on, I turn it up and enthusiastically sing along, but yet I realize she's 16, and everyone finds that song the most annoying song ever. Oh well.
The dress is fabulous. Have a party.Or crash a formal wedding.
I, too, now have Dolphin's Cry in my head... SOBS... thanks for nothing!
oops - forgot my link
Delurking.
My song right now is "Take on Me" (A-Ha). Erk. I would do anything to get that out of my head.
Also, I preferred Sir Topham Hatt when he was The Fat Controller. Somehow that made him more friendly.
Super delurking here:
1) The horrid Celine Dion Titantic song... I think it was on American Idol last night, and for some reason it is stuck with me this morning. AWFUL!
2) Sir Topham Hatt is not a massive tool. The trains *are* very useful.
3) No party here, but if you have one, I will be sure not to wear the same dress.
4) I'm a big fan of liquid eyeliner. But not of mineral foundation. Is it just not suitable for some skin types or shades? No brand or application technique looks normal on me.
5) And "HI!"
Nars Congo Red is the perfect red lipstick. Too bad they discontinued it.
Delurking to say "hi" per your request. :) I really enjoy your site, and the part I love best is that, I too, am (apparently) a 13 year old boy who laughs hysterically at ill-conceived dancing hotdog costumes. I still go back and dig that one up from your archives every once in a while. It never gets old.
And the 'Ask a Jew' posts are fab. Thanks for being so forthcoming and relaxed about all us clueless protestants wanting to know what's up.
I have had Britney Spears's "Toxic" in my head THIS ENTIRE WEEK. I kid you not. Damn that Wii game, Raving Rabbids. Also, Sir Topham Hat may be lame, but isn't his name just lovely? Or am I ridiculous?
The Sephora people will help you pick a shade? I had no idea! I'm still a little overwhelmed by that place, though.
I had "Amazing Grace" stuck in my head earlier this evening, and I have NO idea why.
Hi! And adult acne...can you discuss on Beauty Hacks?
I have a daughter - hopefully that means I can ignore the Topham Hat stuff...he sounds like a knob.
Metalia...buy the dress...you have been looking at that picture of it for months...you will find something to wear it to...maybe the Sabbath of the seven blessing after mine and M's wedding.
Delurking! I also love your Ask a Jew posts, although the unicorn picture at the top of your birth story always cracks me up. That, and the story about getting barf on your pants on Metro North.
As to your questions:
1) "On the Wings of Love," by . . . who cares, that song sucks. I am also anti-Live, to the point where I yell "change it change it change it!" whenever they come on the radio.
2) Is this a Thomas question? No clue. I'll just agree with you, that seems safe.
3) My 30th birthday party in December! Can you wait that long? You can most definitely attend. It will be in DC.
4) Hmm . . . can you suggest eyeshadow colors for different skin tones (I'm pale with red hair and blue eyes) and maybe some techniques? I still feel like I'm doing it wrong. Maybe another video!
5) Hi.
A little late on the delurking, but HI!
Thanks to my lunch friend, I am singing some stupid local car dealer song. Don't get me started. Also, I don't know Sir Hat but he sounds like a tool. I don't do fancy. Do you have any tips for oil skin? Really I am combination skin but something about sitting at a desk for eight house makes my face an oil slick. And HI! But I already said that.
Hi! I am delurking in honor of delurking day...a tad late. How embarrassing that I've been reading your blog for a while and absolutely love it...yet have never left a comment. I am inspired by you and all your fashion blog friends (whoorl, slynnro, fridayplaydate, etc) to dress better, wear make-up better and just be an all around better person. oh, well...I'll continue to live vicariously through you.
I'm not too familiar with Sir Topham Hatt, but I recall he was a bit too bossy for my liking in the Thomas books I gave the kid I babysit. What I remember most was how the kid was ecstatic that his underpants matched the books.
Also, hi!
you are so gorgeous you can totally pull off lipstick.
FYI, I just added you to my new blogroll.
Hi! I'm delurking!
Um, HI. I am sure not one to lurk but I am one to ooh and aaah over pretty dresses, and perhaps you have already posted this elsewhere and I missed it, but WHERE, oh where is the gorgeously beaded dress from?
I'm really late here- love the dress, love the lipstick, LOVELOVELOVE the shoes you're wearing with the dress.
I didn't feel like registering at the beautyhacks website, but Aveda's Uruku Bronzer brush makes me so very, very happy. It's like little, soft baby toes caressing your cheeks ever so softly, and it even gives a tard like me a fighting chance with blush. It's ridiculously expensive, but worth it.
I have been checking in with your blog a lot. It's so fun. Funny thing is I actually got the same NARS lipstick for a similar reason!
I love you!
Oh, and also--wear the dress to my wedding!
I'm going to need to know where I can purchase that Tastefully Beaded Dress. LOVE!
Hey Metalia -
I don't know if you've heard about this yet, but apparently some stores are giving away (FREE! Woo!) cosmetics in a class-action settlement:
www.cosmeticssettlement.com/
There are some articles out there if you google it and apparently two people i work with got their items from Macy's yesterday.
For some reason, i thought you might be interested. :)
Wow. I am a really late delurker. Stupid life getting in the way!!!
Hello, here I am delurking 2 weeks late!
Post a Comment